Thoughts on being 19

So, it's my birthday today. Happy birthtime to me! I'm having a lovely day with my family and I've been surprised with some really nice gifts, like...

My boyfriend is obviously facilitating my lust for world domination. The Age of the Cactus will soon begin...

19 is a big, scary age. It's my last year of being a teenager, and it's finally started hitting me that pretty soon, I'm going to be in the big wide world, living away from home, starting my degree, and shaping myself into an adult. In some ways, I don't feel ready. I'm 19 and I still sleep with my teddies, I'm still scared of the dark, and I'm still afraid of strange men on buses. Sometimes, I don't think I'll ever be able to go out and live a normal life with all the worries and stresses that go through my head. Part of me wants to stay at home and feel safe forever, but I know that's not an option. A lot is going to happen this year, big and scary things, and while I'm pretty nervous about how I'll cope with all these changes, it's also really exciting. I feel like since I've started college, I've done so many things that a few years ago, I wouldn't have dreamed of doing. I've started studying somewhere completely new, where I knew nobody, and I've settled right in and made amazing new friends. I've been travelling to two different countries. My artwork has come on leaps and bounds and for the first time I'm starting to believe that I might actually be good at this whole art thing (ha! Wait for depression to come and kick that thought in the teeth). I can't wait to move out and start living for myself. I know it will be hard but I feel it's going to be really good for me to learn to be independent, and given that I've been accepted into the university (college) of my dreams, I'm more excited than ever to finally start taking my baby steps not just into my chosen career, but into my life as an adult.

Even scarier, my boyfriend, Connor, will be 20 next week, and given we've been dating since he was 15, it's strange to think that in a matter of days he will be a bona-fide adult. At least in age, anyway.

Birthdays always make me feel both a little sad and a little excited, but this year, I can't wait to see where I am by the time I'm 20. ;)

Better late than never...?

Hi guys,

So I wanted to apologise for my lack of activity, especially to the people who have been looking at this blog through WIP Wednesday. The past couple of weeks have been very hectic for me as I've had an art project to hand in and I'd be lying if I said that didn't take priority. It'd be nice to have lots of time to write and I know a key element to writing is to make time to do it, but my studies demand a lot of my free time and to be honest I feel guilty when I'm writing and I know there's stuff I could be working on.

But, just because I haven't posted, doesn't mean I haven't been working. I'm still planning a new WIP and while I don't feel I'm ready to start writing it yet, the plot is shaping up really nicely. It's going to be quite different to anything I've tried writing before, but I think that's a good thing, and it means I'm going to get to use some ideas I was going to work into other stories but never did. I'm pretty excited about starting, but I think I need to get a more solid grip on my characters and things before I dive in. I don't want to overplan, though, so I expect to be starting pretty soon!

On another note, it's Valentines this weekend, and so I'm staying for a long weekend with my boyfriend and, while I'm here, I went to another university interview today. The interview went really well, so fingers crossed that I'll get an offer, but I'm not overly worried since so far, I've had offers from everyone I applied to (I must be doing something right!) It's been a while since we've spent a few days together so this is going to be super nice and a good chance to relax and get my thoughts together. Since I was so busy over Christmas it'll be good for me to have some time to myself, but I do need to go and pick up a new project tomorrow, so I will have some work to do. We'll see what it is! I love getting new project briefs, and this one promises lots of creative freedom. If I enjoy it, it doesn't feel like work or effort.

Tonight, I'm off to play Trouble in Terrorist Town, a Nerf Gun game, with some of my boyfriend's friends. I'm an awful shot and can't hit a target to save my life, but it promises to be lots of fun. I didn't bring any loose trousers though. Nerf wars in skinny jeans? This probably won't end well...

If I'm in hospital by tomorrow, you know why.

S'up.

Before we start, apologies.

This is the first time I've ever tried to properly blog. I can't guarantee that what goes on here won't be stupid, completely unrelated to anything at all, vaguely annoying, whiny, and self-pitiful, cliché, bizarre, disturbing, or nightmarish. I can't guarantee this blog will last longer than a month. I can't guarantee I won't be swallowed up by the vast abyss of the internet, never to be seen again.

Phew. So, now that's over, a bit about me. I'm Lauren. I'm a student living in the UK, making the first baby steps into illustration. I write, when I have the time and energy, I'm a mangaholic, and I like killing my characters an absurd amount. I mostly write fantasy, and I'm a top notch procrastinator. I could make a career out of it.

This blog will probably be a mix of drawing, writing, and squealing over pretty things. If you want to watch an over-anxious cactus stumble blindly through life, this is the place to do it.